The Loss

Another Year

The past two weeks have been melancholy and i wondered why. It came to me as I was making correction in the book. This marks the Third year that Mother has not been with us. A part of my mind new it but, I had not given much thought to it because of the busyness of my days. There are things that can resurrect thoughts and feelings as if it had just happened. Today i remembered that this is not only the third anniversary of her death but, following would have been her birthday in May after-which Mothers day. As I continue my grief process on y way to healing I will continue to update you on my progress. My Brother who walked beside me during the journey of mothers transition is coping with his grief also. We do not know when we will exit this process but we know we will. We will always miss mother it just want be as painful.

Amazing

Isn't it amazing how I have returned to blogging again during the anniversary month of Medea's passing. I have been writing a lot but, just not here. April 20th is vastly approaching. This is our third year without Madea. It has not been a easy process, some of us are still unable to talk about it. My youngest brother who ushered her from life to death still cannot tell me about the experience. I thank you my audience for allowing me to walk through my grief process with you. My hope is that it not only helped me but you as my audience. It does not have to be the death of a love one to experience grief. It can the loss of a job, divorce, the loss of a pet, a friend just to name a few. A loss entails many things that will and can cause one to grieve. Whatever yours is today, I want you to know that you will come through this. Through it all i had to learn how to depend on my creator.

What is going on

i have missed blogging. I have been busy picking up two boys after school. My granddaughter is in college and that has kept me busy also. The most important of all my doing is my book. This book has finally gotten to the publisher. Be on the look out in the next couple of months for Watching my Mother. It is about what i have been blogging about the last two years. Now it will be in book form. Of course there is some difference. I am excited that i have finally finished it. It was one of the hardest things i have ever done. Writing about the death of someone you loved is not easy. Matter of fact the family is still going through process. I wanted my brother to talk about his experience with mother as she made her final transition and he still cannot share that experience with me. Hopefully by the time i do the second book which will reflect more on our healing process he will have shared with me so i can share with my readers.

Be listening for my shout out about when the book will hit the stores/market.

Two year anniversary

On April 20th will mark the second year Mom has been gone. Just in case you are wondering how I am faring during this time . I have good days and some bad days. On a bad day is when something will trigger my thoughts and remind me that she is know longer with me. I will sit and think about what we would be doing if she was here. She left so close to Mothers Day and that is what make these anniversaries so hard.

We paid a visit recently to my hometown and the memories are still strong. You try to occupy your thoughts with other things but she come right back. It has not been as hard as I thought it would be, but not as easy as I thought it would be either. Yes, I miss her voice; our talks and when I just need a Mothers shoulder to cry on, she is not there. My 90 plus Aunt is missing her also. They lived together for years and now she is in the house alone wondering why God is keeping her here.

There is nothing like a Mothers love. For those who still have your mother, please enjoy every moment because tomorrow is not promised. Even when you have done all you can you will still miss her when she is gone.

Yes, I miss her but, life goes on. I will continue to miss her believing it will get easier with time.

Unconditional

Buttons is our dog. She is a part of our family and has been for seven years. I brought her home when she was seven weeks old. I could hold her in my hand. She is a Pug. She has a personality that is unique for a dog.

It is a wonderful experience to have someone who loves you unconditionally. It has been said that a Dog is a mans best friend. A dog that is loved and cared for. In turn they give you a love that you cannot forget. When you have a bad day and show discontentment they feel what you feel. They are amazing.

She has her own personality, I cannot believe her sometimes. It she does not get her way she knows how to ignore you by turning her back. not facing me is her way of punishing me. She knows what she wants to eat that day. We have spoiled her by giving her more than one kind of food. When it is raining out she will not go outside. I call her Miss Buttons because of how she rules. She loves to play especially with children.

When we go down South we take her. Driving almost 2000 miles with her is funny. When we get to Arizona and there is know grass she will not go potty. She will make herself sick before going on hard ground. She likes grass.

Miss Buttons and any dog that has been loved can teach us a lesson in how we should love one another, unconditionally.

Journaling

This week, take time and journal how you spend your week. Journal everything whether good or bad. After a couple of days journaling, take a look and see how you are spending your time. What can you do to manage your time better? Do not forget to journal and review it.

This is something I enjoy doing. When I review what I have journaled it helps me improve my time. We live in a fast paced world and time management is essential to our current life style. Have a good week and manage your time wisely.

Not Lost Nor Forgotten

Happy New Year and may it be a prosperous one in spite of our economic crisis.

Two ladies and a Tramp

Scrolling through the neighborhood you will find these three, frolicking in the park. We have Ms. Chiquita, she is four and has a marvelous wardrobe for one so young. She is petite and stands her ground with her attitude. She does not talk to everyone that say hello to her, she stands and look at you and want let you come close. Ms Chiquita is special to say the least. Like most of us she is comfortable in her own surrounding. Ms. Popeye is seven and quiet. She has claimed the neighborhood. She walks down the street with her little strut, you can;t tell her she ain't fine. Ms. Chiquita is aware of Ms. Popeye, they have very little conversation because they are both spoiled and not familiar with the word share or play. Who walks up now is Master Russell, O! hello ladies as he approach them. He is playful and full of energy and younger than the two ladies. Tramp wants to rule the ladies with his energetic self, making enough noise for all to hear and see him. He thinks he is the King of the yard. The ladies let him know who rules.

This might not be making sense to you so, let me introduce to you the two ladies and tramp.  Ms. Chiquita is a miniature Chihuahua her name is Miss Daisey; Ms. Popeye is a Pug and her name is Buttons and finally tramp is Mr. Jack Russell.

The three dogs are beautiful and fun. They are loved by their owners and of course well kept. Next time I write about them I will have picture.

Good-bye-Summer-Hello, Fall!

Have you noticed that summer is gone. It made it final exit with grace. The calendar says October but, the temps this week have felt like summer. I was in Sacramento on Wednesday waiting for my granddaughter to get out of class and the weather felt like summer the people were dressed in shorts and short sleeves.

Autumn, however! is on display. Which makes for an interesting dance. The colors are dazzling and sunlit, The best of both seasons. Unlike Sooooooo many folks, I am not a fan of fall and winter, But looking at its jazzy reds and gaudy golds, with the "crisp" mornings with mosquito's still moving and doing what they do best, bite. I know it's all a prelude to bare trees and blasts of wind. Months of gray sky, gray fields,with this comes a feeling of grayness to some.  A quote by Albert Camus "Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower". Picture that on a gray day. As we kissed Summer good-bye and applaud with good cheer the great show autumn has staged for us.

This may be a gray season but there are some great Holidays that come with the season , so enjoy the season that is set before us in the spirit that it comes.

What's up and Coming?

Greetings to you my readers. I am sorry for not writing lately. This is due to lack of creative energy. It has not been flowing lately, because I've been busy concentrating on what is up and coming. This has caused my flow to slow.

Our body need energy to go, flow and be creative. My lack of energy has been caused by a problem that is over Twenty years old, and that problem is my HEART. Due to this problem the ART of writing lost it's flow. I am thankful for the current Technology being what it is today. I now wear a pace-maker. For me this was a scary to suddenly realize that I will have a foreign object in my body, that will need to be connected to a machine ever so often. It was a difficult decision but, as my energy was slowly leaving something had to be done. I enjoy eating vegetables but I do not want to be one. Now have been given a second chance with my pace-maker to be able to continue to run the race that is set before me. I will do this by Dancing for the one who created me and gave me a second chance. To Him be glory.