WADING IN

THE LAST LAUGH: SEEK TRUE INTIMACY NOW, NOT LATER by Tony Wade

                          (warning: the video contains some profanity) 

My brother Kelvin’s recent harrowing flight and his resultant gratitude when it was over which he detailed in his column last Thursday, sparked a memory of one of my favorite scenes in a movie. The flick is “Almost Famous” by director Cameron Crowe (“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. “Jerry Maguire”).

It is a semi-autobiographical tale about a 15-year old who is writing a story for Rolling Stone magazine about an up-and-coming rock band. The budding rock journalist witnesses all the band’s backstage issues including drugs, groupies, and personality conflicts. The relevant scene is when they are flying in a small plane to a gig, hit major turbulence and it appears the plane is about to crash.

Getting a little scared, one of the band members makes a blanket “if anything should happen I love all of you guys” statement, but when it actually appears they are in mortal danger, they get more real.

The band manager admits that he once hit a man with his car and kept going and was sorry. Then the floodgates open and revelations about intra-band infidelities, declarations of love from one band member to another’s girlfriend and resentment over the self-centeredness of the lead singer fly around the cabin along with anything not nailed down.

Finally the drummer yells out that he is gay and suddenly the plane straightens out and the band realizes that not only will they live, but they now have to live with the truths that hang in the air.

 What I like about the scene is that it shows how so many of us hold on to our true feelings and secrets until we think death is imminent. The thing is, death is always imminent. As far as I know, no one knows the exact hour when they will draw their last breath.

This column isn’t about death however; it’s about telling people what we think while we still can. Unlike the movie, I’m not suggesting that it necessarily be negative things either.

My parents’ generation didn’t open up and talk about feelings and motivations. It just wasn’t done. Consequently many of their children sought affirmation, approval and love and needed it to be verbalized and not just shown through actions.

It’s kind of like “Fiddler on the Roof” when Tevye asks his wife Golde if she loves him and she replies that she has cooked and cleaned and raised a family with him for 25 years.

I had a complicated relationship with my father growing up. We were just so different. I think what helped open up or relationship was me growing up and not seeing him as just an extension of my environment, but an actual human being with needs, desires and cares like anyone else.

I’m very thankful that before both of my parents passed away any resentment that I had allowed to fester when I was younger was cleared away.

Compared to my parents’ generation which played their cards close to the vest, the current one just shows their hand all the time.

It seems nowadays we’ve swung too far the other way with people sharing way too much stuff about themselves on TV talk shows and social media internet sites. I don’t think everybody needs to know all of your business.

However I think it’s definitely beneficial to have someone, even if it’s just one person, you can be open and honest with.

I think like a lot of people and men especially, when I was younger I both craved and feared true intimacy. I now know that that’s what life is about—connecting with people on a deep level.

While it would be really great if you could just read other people‘s thought balloons, as far as I know there is no shortcut to true intimacy. And from my experience, it’s so much better to try to achieve it before you think you only have seconds to live.

Reach Fairfield freelance writer Tony Wade at kelvinsbrother@sbcglobal.net

THE LAST LAUGH: TONY AND BRAD'S ADEQUATE ADVENTURE by Toe Knee Weighed

 

The incredibly realistic 1989 movie “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” told the story of how Ted "Theodore" Logan (Keanu Reeves) and Bill S. Preston Esq. (Alex Winter) got an A on their high school history final by bringing historical figures from long ago to their school in San Dimas.

Bill and Ted went back to the past using a time-traveling phone booth and returned with the likes of Napoleon, Billy the Kid, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln and Beethoven.

It made me think: if I were able to go back into the past, who would I bring back to 2010 and why? For starters, I wouldn’t use a phone booth because you’d have to go back in time first to even find one of those and the paradox of that is giving me a headache.

A DeLoreon would be cool, but when’s the last time, if ever, you’ve seen one of those? No I’d just slap a flux capacitor in my Ford F-One Fiddy and be off.

Of course I would need a partner and so I’d choose Daily Republic columnist Brad Stanhope. Judging from past writings of his I’m sure after we made our historical wish lists that I would have to make some deletions from his as  he’d include Fred Flintstone, Robinson Crusoe, and Wonder Woman—none of whom are real.

Once the list was set we would embark on Tony and Brad’s Adequate Adventure.

John Montagu –This 18^th century British statesman was Postmaster General, First Lord of the Admiralty and Secretary of State for the Northern Department, but is best known as being the 4^th Earl of Sandwich and inventing the culinary device that allows people all over the world to eat anything as long as they have two pieces of bread.

From bacon, banana and mayonnaise to the McDonald’s McRib, John Montagu, we salute you sir.

Jimi Hendrix—I would tell Jimi that the whole drug thing would become very passé and that it would be so much cooler if he just ushered in the whole era of the awesome guitarist instead of the ever popular rock-star-choking-to-death-on-their-own-upchuck thing.

Marquis de Sade—I would hope that  he could explain how he could simultaneously be known for  writing books about pornography and eroticism with torture and pain and also make such wonderful music like “Smooth Operator” and “Your Love is King.”  “The Sweetest Taboo” does kinda make sense however.

Benjamin Franklin—It would be great to hear what Franklin thinks about modern culture and how he has survived in it. Specifically the 1997 song “It’s All about the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy (yes, he was Puff Daddy then) and how Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman’s uncanny resemblance to the founding father didn't help her failed campaign.

Homer-I think it’d be interesting to see what this author of epic poems like The Odyssey and The Iliad thinks of the fact that when most people hear his name these days they think of Bart Simpson’s bumbling father.

John Lennon—We’d pluck Lennon from 1967 when the Beatles were in a particularly creative phase and have him talk about songs he’s working on. Also, taking a cue from Doc from “Back to the Future” I would leave him a package with a note telling him to wear the enclosed bulletproof vest on December 8^th, 1980.

Abe Vigoda—In one of my favorite films “The Godfather”,  the late Vigoda played Tessio who delivered the famous “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes” line and later went on to play Detective Fish on “Barney Miller.” Vigoda could then…wait…what? He’s not dead? Really? Oh. Never mind.

Harriet Tubman—One question I’d love to ask the famous conductor on the Underground Railroad is how come if it’s a subterranean locomotive no one just called it a subway? It’s so much easier to say. I mean, you don’t hear anyone calling the internet the “Information Superhighway” anymore do you? All hail brevity!

Bob Clampett—I’d finally confront this Looney Tunes animator and creator of Porky Pig and make him explain why his famous porcine construct wears a sports coat and bow tie but no pants. I mean, what the heck?

Reach Fairfield freelance writer Tony Wade at kelvinsbrother@sbcglobal.net

 

 

 

 

"THE NINE- INSIDE THE SECRET WORLD OF THE SUPREME COURT" THE VERDICT IS IN by Kelvin "Byg Datty" Wade

Just finished reading Jeffrey Toobin’s “The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court.” (384 pages, Doubleday). First of all, it’s a mark of solid political cachet walking around with a highly cerebral book like this under your arm rather than some noxious screed like the O.J. “If I Did It” book. Even if you’re reading the O.J. book or something equally pernicious about Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan, you can put the Toobin book jacket over your loser book and earn cred as a thinker.

The verdict is in. Read this book. The book is an interesting look behind the curtain of the court showing Americans a world we rarely see. Nine justices who work in the same building but interact mainly through memos and emails. 

He describes a friendship between liberal Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and conservative firebrand Antonin Scalia. Though they rarely vote together on any cases, their families have spent New Years Eves together over the years.

Clarence Thomas is described as the most conservative member of the court who, while full of resentments and rage, rarely asks questions from the bench. Thomas’ recent 60 Minutes interview confirmed Toobin’s take that he’s still smarting over his confirmation hearings sixteen years later.

Toobin tells a story of listening to a question and answer session at a synagogue where Justice Scalia was speaking. Scalia was asked to compare his judicial philosophy with Clarence Thomas’. Toobin writes that Scalia answered, “I’m a conservative. I’m a textualist. I’m an originalist. But I’m not a nut.” Ouch.

Justice Anthony Kennedy seems to be the Justice who loves the job the most. He’s eager to hear cases, loves asking questions from the bench and loves to write opinions with flowery, sometimes Bulwer-Lytton quality prose.

The book seems built around Sandra Day O’Connor. She’s clearly the justice that he most identifies with. Toobin writes that while history may describe her tenure on the court as taking place on the

Rehnquist   Court

, he persuasively makes the case that in reality, it was the O’Connor court where she was the swing vote in a host of 5-4 decisions.

His coverage of Justice most reviled by conservatives, the President George H.W. Bush appointed David Souter is interesting in that it depicts him as a man out of his time. Souter likes to do his writing with a fountain pen by the light of the sun and though he owns a television, has apparently never plugged it in.

The book recounts many cases the court has handled in the past fifteen years including cases touching on abortion, affirmative action, private sexual behavior, God in the public square, capital punishment and eminent domain. But no case is more fascinating, nor more illuminating of the motivations of these justices than Bush v. Gore, the case that handed George W. Bush the presidency in 2000. It is clearly one of the worst decisions the court has handed down made all the more odious and naked in its Republicanism by Justice Kennedy note in the majority opinion that he case sets no precedent and could not be citied to justify any future court ruling.

Toobin decribes how a court with seven of the nine justices appointed by Republican presidents moved to the left and ends with how conservatives may have finally gotten the court they’ve always wanted the addition of Chief Justice John G. Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito.

The book will make readers of any political strike understand just how important presidential elections have become in determining the law of the land. The next president will appoint maybe three justices to the court in his or her first time. The next president has the power to reshape this court for decades. That alone makes this book worth a read.

It’s a fascinating read about how these nine justices (with their army of law clerks) who are appointed for life and unaccountable directly to the American people have the most direct effect on the lives of average Americans with their decisions. It’s a fast read and a good read, and makes you look really smart while reading it. Hang out for a minute or two reading it in Starbucks while sipping a caffeinated concoction it takes you twenty five syllables to order and you’ll look like you’re about something. Note: Don’t be a rockin’ a T-shirt with a stupid saying on it at the same time or people will know you’re a poseur.