"Weird Al" Yankovic
"Fat"
From Even Worse [1988]
I have a clear memory of being about 6 or 7 years old, riding my bicycle down the street on which I grew up, playing this song on a hideously cumbersome cassette player that looked something like this. It even had that handle.
I knew every word and was singing along, despite the fact I didn't understand all of the jokes. I know for a near certainty that "When I go out to get my mail / It measures on the Richter Scale" baffled me because I had no clue yet what was the system for measuring the magnitude of earthquakes.
In the fashion that continues to make Al fun and enduring, it's lacking in maliciousness. The mention of his character's inability to use a phone booth is greeted by today's youth as, "He doesn't use a what?"
Even Worse was one of the first albums I remember loving, as ridiculous as that seems. I was so young that I knew many of the songs because of their parodies rather than their originals, such as "(This Song's Just) Six Words Long" poking fun at the lyrical simplicity of George Harrison's final major hit, "Got My Mind Set on You."
And it wasn't until I listened to Even Worse about 20 years after its release that I came to realize "Twister" is a style parody of a younger Beastie Boys.
For some reason, though, that image of riding down the street and listening to "Fat" has stuck with me.
I can't hear Michael Jackson's "Bad" without slipping into the lyrics to "Fat," a problem Don McLean admitted he has on "American Pie" after Yankovic's Star Wars-referencing parody, "The Saga Begins."
For the honorable mention list, I tried to pick songs that I remember from the ages zero to 10. I remember an evening around 6 or 7 when my mom was playing some of her favorite songs, including Don Henley's "Dirty Laundry" and Loverboy's "Turn Me Loose."
"Small Town" makes me think of a time I was in the car with my father and the John Mellencamp song came on the radio. I think he was still Cougar at that time.
I remember boasting something about feeling like the song was about me because I grew up in a small town.
My father laughed at me and I know I didn't understand what was so funny. My dad told me that Aurora was one of the largest cities in Colorado.
I remember looking at him puzzled, not understanding why he was saying that.
I don't think I fully understood it until I went to college and interviewed a volleyball player named Erin. She told me there were about 1,000 people in the town where she grew up on the Eastern Plains of Colorado.
"There were, like, 750 people in my graduating class," I told her.
"That's cos you're a city boy," she said.
Though Erin helped me realize how right my dad was, there are some parts of that song that still ring true to me no matter where I go: "No, I cannot forget from where it is that I come from / I cannot forget the people who love me ... "
Honorable mention
· AC/DC, "Hells Bells" from Back in Black [1980]
· Berlin, "Take My Breath Away" from Count Three and Pray [1986]
· Phil Collins, "Another Day in Paradise" from ... But Seriously [1989]
· Fleetwood Mac, "Don't Stop" from Rumours [1977]
· Peter Gabriel, "Big Time" from So [1986]
· Genesis, "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" from Invisible Touch [1986]
· Don Henley, "Dirty Laundry" from I Can't Stand Still [1982]
· Michael Jackson, "Billie Jean" from Thriller [1984]
· Billy Joel, "This is the Time" from The Bridge [1986]
· Kenny Loggins, "Danger Zone" from the Top Gun soundtrack [1986]
· Loverboy, "Turn Me Loose" from Loverboy [1981]
· John Mellencamp, "Small Town" from Scarecrow [1985]
· The Rolling Stones, "As Tears Go By" from December's Children (And Everybody's) [1965]
· Scandal, "The Warrior" from The Warrior [1984]
· Toad the Wet Sprocket, "All I Want" from Fear [1991]
· USA for Africa, "We Are the World" from We Are the World [1985]
· U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" from The Joshua Tree [1987]
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